Friday, February 1, 2008

All Entries

Bev R.

Oh barney Butter how I love thee
Creamy crunchy oh my I can't wait
If I win Tina I will thank thee
Please choose me because I can't wait


A College Girl's Plight
Joanna P.


I'm off at college
Gaining lots of knowledge,
While trying to stay fit
And within my budget.

Peanut butter is a staple in my diet,
But Barney Butter a pipe dream—I'm dying to try it.
Visions of bananas and oatmeal dance in my head,
All adorned with Barney Butter in peanut butter's stead.

Dining halls get monotonous; the Jif jar gets low.
I need a new form of sustenance to which I can go!
I can only hope that I will soon discover
A new supply of Barney Butter beneath my book cover!


Barney Butter Limerick
Sara S.

A poor college student I am.
I can only afford toast with jam.
If I had Barney Butter,
My heart would aflutter,
And them my toast would be glam!


Sarah B.


I clench my teeth through the grocery store
Because, you see, I'm suddenly poor
My husband says "walk away from the organic food aisle"
I glare; he gives an apologetic smile.
Why did I get married? I sigh
as I pass by the Greek yogurt and feel my stomach cry
I buy beans in bulk
and try not to sulk
when I walk past my "single girl" buys
marriage is worth it, I tell myself, as I look into my husband's eyes.
Needless to say, I can no longer spend
ridiculous amounts on the latest health food trends
because of this thing called "a budget"
I need to stick to it, though I'd rather buy and say "fudge it!"
I miss the fun of trying yummy new things
which is why I would love to get some bling
in the form of Barney Butter
so under my breath I will no longer have to angrily mutter
(at least until it's gone.)


Melissa E.


Barney Butter looks so great and sounds like a tasty treat,
I would do anything to try it in a sandwich or as a yummy snack to eat!

I see you mix it in your oatmeal and spread it on bread,
Especially with those chocolate chips, oh I wish I could be fed!

I am trying to eat healthy and maintain my weight,
Barney Butter would help this, and maybe even get me a hot date!

Sometimes I have major issues with overeating and portion control,
But I think Barney Butter would signal to my brain that I am full!

I used to be overweight and started maintaining a healthy diet,
Now I exercise and try to keep my sugar cravings quiet!

I spend my days at work reading Carrots and Cake,
I love learning all about new, healthy foods to make!

I live on the East Coast, so Barney Butter is hard for me to find,
If I was lucky enough to be sent some samples, I would find it oh so kind!

I love that Barney Butter is all natural and also peanut free,
That's why you should definitely choose me!


Tiffany S.


Peanut Butter,
Peanut Butter,
Tasty, crunchy, yummy,
Peanut Butter,
Peanut Butter,
I love it in my tummy.
Peanut Butter,
Peanut Butter,
My favorite food to eat,
Peanut Butter,
Peanut Butter,
The tastiest treat.

Peanut Butter,
Peanut Butter,
Now let me tell you something cool,
Peanut Butter,
Peanut Butter,
For me it’s very new.

Barney Butter,
Barney Butter,
Not from a peanut but from another,
Barney Butter,
Barney Butter,
I learned to eat it because of my mother.

Barney Butter,
Barney Butter,
Let me tell you what it’s from,
Barney Butter,
Barney Butter,
Then you’ll surely want to try some.

Barney Butter,
Barney Butter,
It’s from an almond you see,
Barney Butter,
Barney Butter,
And almonds grow on trees.

Almond Butter,
Barney Butter,
Only 180 Calories per serving.
Almond Butter,
Barney Butter,
Eat it as a snack and your appetite will start curving.

There are several ways to eat it,
Each way is very yummy.
So when you’re at the store,
Buy some almond butter by Barney Butter for some yummy in your tummy.


Yo Carrot N Cake Let's Kick It
Dave C.


Barney Butter baby (x2)
All right stop open the top and spread it
Tina is back with some brand new snack food
Something that I spread on my bread nightly
And when I'm done, I put the lid on tightly
Will I ever stop, yo I think I might
Read Carrots N Cake its quite a site
To the extreme I eat snacks like a vandal
Spread on the Butter and light up a candle

Eat, then rush to the nearest whole foods
It's pleasing your stomach and fixing your moods
Creamy when I eat a dope bite
Anything less than the best aint right
Love it or leave it you better lose weight
You better buy Barney Butter CNC don't play
If there was a problem yo I'll clog it
Check out the Butter while Tina blogs it

CHORUS
Barney Butter baby (x4)


Jennifer M.


Barney Butter, oh Barney Butter,
You set my heart a flutter,
Did you know that you share your first name,
With many famous others?
Barney Butter, oh Barney Butter,
First there's the character that fills kids' brains with clutter,
Thank goodness you're not that purple dinosaur
He definitely was a nutter!
What about that Rubble guy,
Who lived in the stoneage?
Would he have preferred crunchy or smooth?
No matter, this no-stir stuff is all the rage!
Locally-produced and peanut free,
Barney Butter, you're the one for me!
We'll go to Barneys in New York,
To go on a shopping spree!
So, Barney Butter,
Hear my plea,
705 Tilghman St, is the place to be,
Coopersburg is the town,
And Pennsylvania is the state,
Barney Butter, oh Barney Butter,
Please take me on a date!


Dave


Barney Butter, you're the one,
You make snack time lots of fun,
Barney Butter, I'm awfully fond of you;

Woo woo be doo

Barney Butter, smooth and creamy,
When I spread you, I feel dreamy!
Barney Butter, you're my favorite snack, it's true!

Doo doo doo doo, doo doo

Every day when I
Make my way to the table
I find a little jar who's
Natural, Peanut free and with a brown label

Yum-a-yum-a-yummy!

Barney Butter, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Barney Butter, I'm awfully fond of you.

Every day when I
Make my way to the table
I find a little jar who's
Natural, Peanut free and with a brown label

Barney Butter, you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Barney Butter, I'm awfully fond of -
Barney Butter, I'd like a whole pantry of -
Barney Butter I'm awfully fond of you!

Doo doo, be doo


The New Nut Butter

Lacey


"Peeeeeeeanut, peanut butter, (and jelly and jelly)!

peeeeeeeanut, peanut butter, (and jelly and jelly)..."

The song hung in the air, each child's bottom half out of each chair,

impatient, in chorus, the kids called "make our sandwiches for us!"

To which their teachers replied, "today we have a surprise!"

The children all a-flutter, grumbled and muttered, but the teachers went on, "we've found a much better butter!"

"There are no peanuts around, today let the almonds be crowned!

For our new lunch time s-p-r-e-a-d, we have Barney Butter for your bread!"
Lo-and-behold, It was an instant success! More fiber, iron, and vitamin E, and that Saturated Fat? Oh so much less!

The Barney Butter-wiches were eaten crusts and all, and apple slices were dipped in, too. The children and teachers all munched happily and Mmmms! could be heard between chews.

And then, it was bound to happen, the jar was scraped every which way. The nut butter was gone, the children saw in dismay.

The teachers stood up, "lunch is done, there is no more." What they did not say was just that day, they had hidden away packets and packets galore!


Kyle D.


The news of our pregnancy was such a thrill!
However, shortly thereafter, I was quickly ill.
Little to eat to ease the pain,
Trips to the toilet driving me insane.

Once a veggie girl, my diet soon changed.
I craved sweets and starches, I was deranged.
Went to the doctor for my 12-week weigh-in,
Holy Moses! 11 pounds up, much to my chagrin.
Doctors orders to clean up my food.
No more cookies or ice cream, boy I was screwed!
Then one day, I happened to buy,
Some Barney Butter, why not give it a try?

To my surprise, this stuff was quite tasty.
On top bread and fruit, and even a pastry.
Packed with vitamins, it filled me up,
What's more, it stopped me from throwing up.

Now I feel good about what I eat.
Not only for me, but my baby sweet.
My weight has plateaued, and I don't look like a whale,
Thank goodness for Barney Butter, let's all give a hail!


Kristi H.


Barney Butter?
I look into my cupboard, and oh, what do I see?
But a simple jar of peanut butter
Staring back at me!?
I know it’s good and I use it everyday
Even in my oatmeal on a hot summer day.
But I have to be honest when I say.
I am getting sick of Peanut butter each and every day!
I hear there is something new,
Barney Butter to be exact,
I hear it got a good review,
But this I gotta try for a fact!?
I hear it’s kind of creamy
But I have to wonder why
This product that is so dreamy
Just came my way in July
Even Trina, as known to Starbucks
Says this stuff is good!
And, she says it doesn’t suck
So I really want to try it if I could!?
It’s time for something new,
To replace my Peanut butter.
So, here’s a little clue
To make my heart flutter
My name is Kristi
My friends call me Krittie
So let’s get down to the nitty gritty
Mal & Carrotsncake,
Please pick me and be a pal
So my heart doesn’t break!

I Ate Barney

(To the tune of "I Kissed A Girl" by Kate Perry)
Ashley W.

This was the way it all began
I felt a grumbling
I got so starved, spoon in hand
Must please my tummy
This is what I'm called to
Just wanna eat you up
I'm curious for you
Get in my belly!

I ate Barney and I liked it
The taste of his almond goodness
I ate Barney just to try it
I hope my PB don't mind it
It tasted fresh
It tasted sweet
Don't think Barney can be beat
I ate Barney and I liked it
I liked it

Yes, I know I just learned your name
It doesn't matter
You're my new obsession of late
You nutty butter
Fill me up
Everyday
I crave you all the time
I drool when I see you
I've made you mine

I ate Barney and I liked it
The taste of his almond goodness
I ate Barney just to try it
I hope my PB don't mind it
It tasted fresh
It tasted sweet
Don't think Barney can be beat
I ate Barney and I liked it
I liked it

Barney, he is so nuttiful
Smooth spread, roasted, so natural
Hard to resist so lickable
Too good to deny it
I need more jars for my kitchen

I ate Barney and I liked it
The taste of his almond goodness
I ate Barney just to try it
I hope my PB don't mind it
It tasted fresh
It tasted sweet
Don't think Barney can be beat
I ate Barney and I liked it
I liked it

Barney Butter Haiku Poetry
Brandi E.

Barney Butter, full
Of almond-y goodness. I
Wish I could find you.

Full jar or single
Servings, I cannot wait to
Stir you in oatmeal.

So creamy and smooth,
You tempt me from the kitchen.
Healthy, yummy, gone.


Kim M.


The blogs are all a flutter,
Everyone's talking about Barney Butter!
I've looked at Safeway, Giant and Trader Joes
Where can I find it? No one knows.


Ashleigh G.


oh barney butter
i long to try thee
knowing you wont hurt my body
oh barney butter
im sure i mutter
your name whilst i sleep
oh barney butter
i know im a nutter
because you'd make me complete
people rant and rave
they write about how they crave
your taste is sure to be divine
i cant wait until your mine!


Tracy


Barney Butter, oh Barney Butter,
Why won't you come near me?
With your almondy goodness,
and your ultra-smooth likeness...
I LONG for just 1 taste!

I think of the day,
Oh so far away,
That I can open my mailbox and see,
A wonderful package,
With your lovely red wrapper,
Waiting there just for me!


Ode to Barney Butter

Megan S.


Barney Butter you are elusive to me.
Pictures of you on blogs I see.
In oatmeal you would be oh so yummy.
I know you would definitely satisfy my tummy.
With bananas between bread you would be so grand.
From what I have heard, you are the best in the land.
So to Mal and Tina I submit my plea.
Barney Butter for free. Pick me! Pick me!


Casperlover


As an almond-butter lover,
I would like to uncover,
The truth about the legendary Barney Butter
So that my taste buds will utter:
“Barney Butter is what I’ve been looking for,
Get me some more!”


Kristie M.


There once was a girl who watched Barney.
At times she was just a bit whiny.
Now she's a bit older,
Her English muffin's getting colder.
It'd be better with some Barney Butter to help it pass through her kidneys.


Krista T.


Barney butter smooth & creamy,
Makes my days oh so dreamy.

Spread on bagels & on toast,
But do you know what I love most?

Dipping my spoon right in the jar,
This is the best way by far!

Carrots N' Cake does not recommend this method,
But this one way is tried and tested!

So please send some Barney butter this way,
This girl needs a spoonful today!


Janet G.


I love you
You love me,
But in my stores you're not, Barney
Think of the possibilities
For delicious food pairing
So hook a girl up
'Cause sharing is caring


Beth T.


When I log on to Carrots n Cake,
I often do a double take.
Tina's obsession with Barney Butter
Sure does have her heart a-flutter!
I'm telling you, this girl's obsessed,
And she's put MANY nut butters to the test.

I want some too, my own to keep,
But Tina - I'm just too darn cheap!
Yes, I'll admit it, the price is high -
A little too steep for me to try.
8 bucks a jar? Say it ain't so!
I gotta pay rent, I can't spare the dough!

But you're thrifty like me, so I'm willing to bet
There's a reason you think this is the best yet.
Send me a jar, I'll give it a taste,
And if it's good -- off to Whole Foods, post haste!!
I'll bite the bullet and purchase a jar...
And try not to eat the whole thing in the car.


Currently in a Relationship with PB and Thinking about Cheating

Martha S.


I fantasize about tasting Barney Butter
My soulmate, I know there's no other
Tina blogs and she raves
I read and I crave
Just the thought makes my cheeks flush and I stutter.


Barney Butter Haiku

Christie I.


Oh, Barney Butter
I hear you are good to eat
I need some of thee


Meghann A.


Barney Butter looks so yummy
Barney Butter looks so good
I would love to have some in my tummy
I would love to try some on my food

Oh please give me Barney Butter
Oh please make my dreams come true
Because right now I am all a nutter
Not having Barney Butter makes me very blue

I can’t find Barney Butter down the street
I can’t find it in the store
I can only find it on Carrots n’ Cake
But, licking the computer makes my tongue very sore

I am begging for Barney Butter
I am on my hands and knees
I’m so obsessed I can barely stutter
Oh, Ph-ph-ph-pppllllleeeeaaassseeee
Give me more!


Ode to Barney Butter

Ann C.


A delicious butter made without our favorite legumes, you say
Who would think we would see the day!
It’s a nutty and delectable concoction,
Mr. Peanut himself would choose this option.
With crunchy or smooth, even packets to go,
Barney enhances apples, oatmeal, even cookie dough!
So use a knife, your finger, or a big spoon,
Barney Butter is sure to make you swoon!


MizFit


I’m with you on the love
the BSQUARED STUFF? heaven sent from above.

I don’t wanna enter. wanna share the joy.
so if I win pass it to next girl or boy.


Maddy


I have never tried Barney Butter
But I'm sure it kicks other to the gutter
I ran across your blog looking for olive oil cake
Because I really really love to bake
I added this page to my favorites
Too bad nothing rhymes with favorites..shmavorites? wavorites?


Copeland's Barney Butter Limerick

Copeland


What's that you mutter
Throw that other stuff to the gutter?
Something that is peanut free
And no trans fat makes me happy as can be
Gotta love… Barney Butter!


Lexi R.


as i can see from your reviews,
this might be better than your dreamy honeymoon, (no....nevermind)
and i would love to get into the "action"
but sadly, to my NOT satisfaction,
its not manufactured where i live,
so now im left with jealousy,
and 1 small tear rolling down my cheek,
and because of shipping prices,
i would be paing almost 5x THE REGULAR PRICES
so now i hope with all my might,
that i will be 1 of the top 5.


Good Morning

Lauren L.


Almonds let me know
I’ve done something right
For my body
Giving it power & energy
Making my heart beat
Strong & happy
Letting my mouth savor
The richness
Of my good choices.
In butter form, it’s the best –
Spreadable, delectable –
A salty/sweet start
To another smart day.


Jack & Erica G.

(To the tune of Barney the Dinosaur song)

I love you,
You love me,
Barney Butter's better for the fam-i-ly.
Try some smooth or chunky,
And it comes in packets, too
Won't you say you'll try some too.


Barney Buttery
Rika

Barney Butter, Barney Butter
What is this that I hear people mutter?

Barney Butter, Barney Butter
It's a product of honesty and good stuff that it has to offer!

Barney Butter, Barney Butter
After one lick, will it demote peanuts under?

Barney Butter, Barney Butter
It certainly is beyond any nut butter yonder!

Barney Butter, Barney Butter
To try, to make my taste buds flutter!


Ashley B.

Almond butter is a new fetish of mine
And that Barney Butter looks mighty fine.
I never had Barney Butter before,
The only Barney I’ve ever heard of is a dinosaur.
Although this butter’s not purple, it still looks fun.
I sure hope I can try it, when this contest is won.
I’m a college student, with little dough
And writing is poem is better than doing homework, fa sho’.
What will I do with the butter you ask?
Mix it with some liqueur in a pretty flask?
Oh, no. no way. I will use it as a spread,
On apples, on bananas, and maybe in bed ;)
Now that is awfully naughty but don’t you worry,
Because if that were to happen it would bring quite a story.
I digress, and I’m sorry, back to the butta’
I don’t know what it is about nuts that makes my heart flutta’.
So please trust me in that I will do my body good,
As long as I can get some Barney Butter up in this hood.
So while my lyrical style is not exactly the best.
I hope that it will stand out from the rest.
I promise the Barney butter will do well in my stomach
And I will devour all of it – to the very last lick!


Jo Taylor


Oh how I want some Barney Butter...
The delicious treat that makes Tina's heart flutter.
It's a regular part of her C 'n C blog...
So off to my local health food store I did jog.
Only to find the shelf was so bare...
Aisle after aisle left me in despair.
I long to try this nutty and healthy snack...
Especially the 90 calorie pack.
I hope that in the end you and Mal will agree...
I deserve to win, Pick Me! Pick Me! PICK ME!


Karly R.


Nuts, nuts, I’m nuts about nuts
About almonds and peanuts, no ifs no buts
I must be a nutter, not to have tried Barney Butter
But living in Australia it’s impossible to find
So please send me a jar, if you don’t mind
Whether smooth or crunchy, I need it to try
If I don’t, I think I might die
So please save my life, and give me a taste
I promise to God it wont be a waste


Debbie H.


All day, all night I get so dreamy...
Of Barney Butter- yes crunchy and creamy

There are zillions of uses...
People: Make no excuses!

On Oats, Yogurt, sammy's, and eggs...
Thanks to Barney's, I've got nice legs ;-)

Whatever you do, DON'T be a loser...
Be an equal-opportunity user!

With Nannerz, Pumpkin, Syrup and jam
Why, Barney's DEFINES who I AM!!

There's nothing I love more than impressing my peeps
Showing the packets that my small purse keeps

So I hope that I am lucky to win
The chance for a Barney Butter GRIN!!!


To Mr. Barney, From a Secret Admirer
Katherine H.


Oh Mr. Barney,
How I look up to thee,
Won't you give me a chance?

Right now, my boyfriend,
Mr. Peanut,
while I like him so,
Oh, he still has so many flaws.

When he wears his Skippy outfit,
he is full of hydrogenated oil,
but when he wears his organic,
or natural clothes,
he gets moody and
separates into two.

Now how can you expect a girl,
to fall in love with a boy,
whose mind splits into two?

Oh Mr. Barney,
You look so fine,
Never needing a stir to keep your mind
on the girl of your dreams.

You seem to be
just the perfect amount of sweet
with your smooth, slick style,
or even when you are chunky and muscular.

Oh Mr. Barney,
Will you please, please,
go out on a date with me?


Gina

I've always been a devoted wife
but there's a new guy in my life.
He's rich and smooth and kinda nutty--
I guess you could say he's quite my buddy.
Doesn't matter, day or night
he's quite delicious with each bite.
I take him with me, near or far
because I keep him in a jar.
So you don't think I'm insane
Barney Butter is his name.


Molly G.


Barney Butter
a healthy fat!
In a packet,
or in a vat.
On some bread,
and oatmeal too,
a dollop to clean
gum from my shoe!

Alas, oh no,
Woe is me,
But Barney Butter
doesnt grow from a tree.
And the money it takes
for me to buy
delicious gooeyness
does not fall from the sky.

So please vote for me,
my oatmeal is bland,
my Quaker Oats packets
just taste like sand.
My mornings are long,
me and the cube' all day,
I need some satiety
in a major way.


Grace B.


Barney Butter oh looks so good,
It looks so creamy on Tina's blog like it should.
It can be used in so many ways,
Too bad one jar will only last me a few days.
I shall use it in morning oats,
And say things like "I woke up craving it!" just as Tina quotes!
Almond butter is very much my fave,
Once I saw it on all the blogs, I knew it would be all the rave!
So delicious, so perfect for any meal,
Having individual packets would be so ideal!
Yum, Yum, Yum,
I want Barney Butter in my Tum Tum.


Elizabeth M.


I just discovered almonds and what a joy they are
Peanuts were the only thing I had known thus far.
I took a nibble with a fearful look upon my face
then grabbed another and another speeding up my pace.

A healthy lifestyle is best for me and I don't want the oil
Barney's is the answer and I've become quite loyal.
Since I discovered Barney Butter's all natural taste
I eat it all and savor it; it never goes to waste!


Allison H.


Barney Butter looks so delicious,
Ground up nuts are so nutritious!
Tina's pictures make me crave,
Crunchy and smooth are both my fave!

You can spread it on toast with little jelly,
Or order it panini style from a deli,
You can eat it from the jar with a giant spoon,
Or on a banana with lunch at noon.

Barney Butter can go where you go,
School, the mall, even a show!
It's easy to pack and yummy to eat,
So bring some with you for a special treat!


Allie's Almond Butter Acrostic Poem
Allie M.


Absolutely addicting
Loaded with omega 3's
Mmm mmm good!
Oops I finished the whole jar...
Not a problem, I've got more!
Diet-friendly yet DELISH

Banana+Barney Butter sandwiches
Umm that's mine, get your own jar
Terrific texture
Taste it and you will see!
Eaten by the spoonful
Ruins all portion control efforts :)


Bridget W.


My life is incomplete
I've never had this treat
I first thought Big Purple Dinosaur
Cause I've never heard of it before
But now I see it every hour
And my computer screen I can't devour
Barney Butter! I'd eat it right now!
On some bread with milk from a cow
Yet for now I can only hope
You think my poem's really dope


A day in the life of a med student
Shilpa


Wake up is at 6
Immediately after, it's time for my coffee fix.
Studying 'til 8 am class
As I wait for time in the anatomy lectures to pass.
Lunch always comes around at noon,
With the 1 pm anatomy labs always coming around too soon.
It all continues up until five,
At which point I can feel that I am very sleep-deprived.
So what comes next you might wonder?
Studying late into the night until I can finally catch some slumber.
Things certainly get stressful and sometimes lame,
Especially when my days are always the same.
So yes, it's not very exciting being in med school,
But having an exciting jar of Barney butter might make things much more cool.
It certainly seems like something tasty on which to munch,
and it would surely improve the daily living-on-a-budget breakfast, dinner, and lunch!

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